How to Deal with Toxic Colleagues at Work

Stop talking you said enough
Image by Drazen Zigic on Freepik

Toxic colleagues can make your work environment just awful. These people behave aggressively or try to provoke you on purpose. Ignoring them often doesn’t work, and being overly kind can sometimes make things worse. So, how do you stand your ground and stop them from bothering you again? This article provides practical advice on how to deal with toxic colleagues. But before we start, I need to say that a good pastime after work matters a lot. Try to spend more time with your family or friends, doing your hobby, or just playing at bookies not on GamStop.

Dealing with Toxic Bosses

They can be the hardest to handle because they have power over your job. They may criticize you unfairly or act in an arrogant way to undermine your confidence. Here are some effective strategies to deal with a toxic boss:

1. Set Boundaries Clearly

If your boss constantly interrupts your personal time with unnecessary demands, politely but firmly set boundaries. For example, say:

"I understand this is important, but I need to focus on finishing my current task first. I will get to this as soon as I can."

This approach shows that you respect their authority but won’t let them push you around.

2. Keep a Record of Incidents

When dealing with a toxic boss, it’s important to document specific incidents. Keep a detailed log of what they say and how they behave. This will be useful if you need to escalate the issue to HR or higher management.

3. Use the Gray Rock Technique

If your boss tries to provoke you emotionally, use the Gray Rock Technique. This involves responding in a calm, neutral way, giving them no emotional reaction to feed on. For example:

By staying calm and unemotional, you avoid escalating the situation.

  1. Know When to Escalate

If your boss crosses the line by bullying or harassing you, escalate the issue to HR. Be professional and present the facts you have documented. Make sure you follow company policies when reporting such behavior.

Dealing with Toxic Subordinates

When you are in a leadership role, dealing with toxic subordinates can be tricky. They might challenge your authority, spread negativity, or try to undermine your decisions. Here’s how to handle them effectively:

1. Address Issues Directly

Don’t ignore toxic behavior. Call the person in for a private conversation and calmly explain what behavior is unacceptable. For example:

"I noticed that you interrupted me several times during the meeting. This is disruptive, and I need you to let others speak without interruption."

By being direct and clear, you show that you won’t tolerate such behavior.

2. Set Consequences

Make it clear that there are consequences for continued toxic behavior. For example, say:

"If this behavior continues, I will have to take formal disciplinary action."

Follow through if necessary. People often stop misbehaving when they know there will be real consequences.

3. Lead By Example

Sometimes, toxic subordinates act out because they feel insecure. While you don’t need to be overly kind, showing consistent professionalism can reduce their negativity. Keep your own behavior respectful and calm, so they have no reason to accuse you of being unfair.

4. Limit Their Influence

If the toxic subordinate spreads negativity to others, limit their opportunities to influence the team. Assign them individual tasks and reduce their involvement in group projects until their behavior improves.

Dealing with Toxic Coworkers

Toxic coworkers at the same level can be especially annoying because they often try to create drama or make you look bad. Here are some effective ways to deal with them:

1. Don’t Take the Bait

Toxic coworkers often try to provoke you by making rude comments or spreading gossip. Don’t react emotionally. Instead, use calm responses or change the subject. For example:

"Interesting perspective. Anyway, let’s get back to the task at hand."

This shows that you won’t engage in their drama.

2. Call Out the Behavior Publicly

If a coworker frequently interrupts or talks over you in meetings, call it out in a respectful but firm way. For example:

"I wasn’t finished speaking. Please let me complete my point."

This puts them on the spot and discourages future interruptions.

3. Use Positive Reinforcement

When the toxic coworker behaves appropriately, acknowledge it. This can sometimes encourage better behavior. For example:

"Thanks for your input earlier. It helped us move forward."

This approach works best with coworkers who occasionally act out but are not entirely toxic.

4. Build Alliances

Toxic coworkers often try to isolate their targets. Prevent this by building good relationships with other colleagues. When you have allies, it’s harder for toxic coworkers to spread negativity about you.

5. Assert Your Authority

If a coworker constantly tries to undermine your work, assert your authority by clearly communicating your role and responsibilities. For example:

"I am responsible for this project. If you have suggestions, I am happy to hear them, but I will make the final decision."

Practical Techniques to Stay in Control

Here are some additional techniques, including NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) methods, to help you stay in control:

Anchoring

Anchoring is an NLP technique that helps you stay calm in stressful situations. Create a personal anchor by recalling a time when you felt confident and relaxed. For example, touch your thumb and forefinger together while remembering that moment. Use this anchor whenever you feel stressed by a toxic colleague.

Mirror Their Body Language

It is another NLP technique where you subtly copy the body language of the person you are speaking to. This can help build rapport and reduce tension. Be subtle—don’t make it obvious, or it may backfire.

Use Assertive Language

Assertive language shows confidence and prevents toxic people from thinking they can push you around. Avoid using weak language like "I think" or "maybe." Instead, use assertive phrases like:

Stay Emotionally Detached

Toxic people often want an emotional reaction. Don’t give it to them. For example, instead of saying:

"You always criticize me."

Say:

"I noticed you pointed out issues with my last three reports. Can you clarify what you expect in future reports?"

This approach keeps the conversation professional and prevents escalation.

Use the Broken Record Technique

If a toxic colleague keeps repeating the same complaint or demand, use the Broken Record Technique by calmly repeating your response. For example:

Eventually, they will realize that their persistence won’t change your decision.

Dealing with toxic colleagues is never easy, but with the right strategies, you can protect yourself and maintain a positive work environment. Remember, the goal is not to change toxic people but to stop them from affecting your peace of mind and productivity.