Platonic Relationship and Why Is It So Important to Us?
There are many forms of love. You can love someone romantically as your life partner, which will differ quite a lot from loving your child. When it comes to a platonic relationship, this form of love refers to having strong feelings for someone beyond sexual and romantic.
Has it ever happened to you that you felt an immediate connection with someone without any explanation, and it was difficult to explain why? It means you've probably had your first experience of platonic love.
To help you understand this term better, we've decided to look into how it was coined, its meaning, how it differs from romantic relationships, and so much more.
Short Summary
- A platonic relationship or platonic friendship is based on connecting with others on a deeper emotional level.
- Romantic feelings or sexual intentions are not a part of a meaningful platonic friendship.
- Platonic relationships should not evolve into romantic or sexual relationships.
What Is Platonic Relationship?
A platonic relationship is the strong, intimate bond you feel for another human being, but it is non-sexual and non-romantic. The name refers to the Ancient Greek philosopher Plato, who spent his life researching love and how we connect with others to learn the deepest secrets of love.
Many will confuse a platonic relationship with a friendship, but remember that platonic love also refers to feeling intimate with that person. For example, you might meet someone you feel strongly connected to.
You don't care about their looks, education, career, or other factors that might motivate you to start building a romantic relationship with them. Instead, you enjoy that bond only you can feel, which nurtures your soul in a way no other relationship can.
Today, people will describe platonic relationships as any that lacks sex and romance. Whether it's a child and parent, a teacher and a student, or two colleagues, these relationships are now considered platonic, which is quite different from its original meaning. If someone expresses platonic love for you, they probably want to see they care about you deeply without any sexual interest.
Platonic Relationships Vs. Romantic Relationships
Although often complicated, we all understand what a romantic relationship is and isn't. A relationship that is based on romance refers to a connection and a relationship that is being built over time between two partners.
In such relationships, both partners are equally interested in each other and are willing to put in their time and energy to build something that will be of value to both of them.
You can only be involved romantically with your romantic partner or partners. Friendships are very different from romantic partnerships, and so are platonic relationships. In s such relationships, you can even feel stronger and more intimate feelings for another person, but without having sex or romantic moments with them.
That said, you shouldn't consider these relationships less valuable than romantic ones. Both are important and can teach you so much about others and yourself. Although its definition emphasizes the lack of sex and romance, the idea of platonic relationships is not that it lacks something.
People in such relationships are not focused on what is lacking but are enjoying what they have. They are not chasing what is not there, and they have it very clear that adding sex or romance to the equation will completely change the relationship.
They can enjoy what they have because they know what they don't have. A platonic relationship wouldn't make it stronger or more meaningful.
Can a Platonic Relationship Become a Romantic Relationship?
Yes, your platonic relationship can convert into a romantic relationship with time. Although that's not its main idea, platonic partners are becoming more common in pursuing romance together. After all, it makes sense that you try to build a relationship with someone you know you like, respect, and admire in a certain way.
Being able to be platonic lovers first allows you to truly see this person for who they are. So, if you want to add romance and sex to the relationship, it has more chances of succeeding than a relationship with someone you are now getting to know.
Keep in mind that that's not the goal of a platonic relationship. You should feel fulfilled with your connection with another person and not seek other elements that are not there. Yet, there are no rules in the games where our hearts are the key players, so whatever feels good for you and your platonic partner, go for it!
If you're wondering if a romantic or sexual relationship can turn into a platonic relationship, the same applies as above. You might have spent years with that person, but somehow, sex and romance have disappeared. You still respect and love that person; they feel the same for you. So, why cut them out of your life entirely? Having a platonic relationship with them makes more sense.
Platonic Friends
Is platonic friendship the same as a platonic relationship? In a way, it will depend on the people who are in these platonic relationships. For instance, if you feel certain feelings towards this person that you don't feel for other friends in your life, there's a good chance you see them as your platonic lover.
On the other hand, if you feel the same way about them as you do about all your friends, you are probably platonic friends. In other words, you are connected on a deeper level, but there is nothing in your feelings and thoughts that could imply another type of love towards that person.
Are platonic friends the same as regular friends? Again, it depends. Some people will refer to platonic friendships when they talk about their best friends to emphasize the strong bond that is created between them.
It's similar to twin flame relationships, in which two individuals feel whole together. Unlike soul mates, twin flame often refers more to friendships.
Sings of Platonic Love
If you're still uncertain about the meaning of platonic connections, it's best to offer a closer insight into it. There are certain signs that might imply that you feel platonic love for someone else. Keep in mind that relationships that are withholding from sex before marriage are typically not considered platonic relationships.
So, if you are experiencing more than one sign from our list below, you might be in a platonic relationship or at least feel platonic love for someone:
- Enjoying spending time with that person
- Feeling emotionally close to that person
- Being aware that this relationship nurtures your soul in a specific way
- Feeling the need to truly get to know them
- Ability to be vulnerable in front of them and vice versa
- Feeling no desire to have sex with that person
- Feeling free to express your love and affection
- Feeling the need to have this person in your life forever
- Feeling no need to change the terms of the relationship and accepting it the way it is
Benefits of a Platonic Relationship
You might be surprised to hear that, but there are many benefits to platonic connections. Just like any other relationship you enjoy, a platonic one will be able to bring you many positive outcomes for your entire life as well.
Better Health
Having strong, meaningful connections is incredibly important for our mental health. Connections and friendships are more beneficial for people than sexual attraction and physical intimacy. Having a platonic friend or feeling platonic love for someone can help you feel more positive about everything in your life.
That is why all psychologists will always recommend building meaningful relationships, including platonic ones, with others.
Happiness
As said above, connections make us feel positive about our lives. You can have a romantic partner and still enjoy platonic friendships to truly feel fulfilled in your life.
After all, each person in life, whether a platonic friend or a romantic partner, is there for a reason, and you should celebrate everything you love about them, which ultimately leads to happiness.
Simplicity
Let's be honest: romantic or sexual relationships can often be messy, and romantic love is often a language we are not as fluent in as we'd like to think. That is why platonic love and platonic friendships are much simpler to maintain.
Because platonic relationships eliminate romantic or sexual connection from the equation, the expectations that individuals will feel will be much lower. For example, platonic friends can understand you were too busy to respond, as platonic relationships and friendships are freed from ego.
Freer Romantic Relationships
If some of your needs are satisfied in platonic relationships, you will put less pressure on your romantic relationships. If you have a romantic partner, they might not know how to talk to you the way you need to about certain topics, so you might search for that type of support from your platonic friends.
Romantic and sexual relationships often end because people are looking to find everything they need in one person, which is impossible. Instead, define clearly what you need from your romantic partnerships and what you need from a platonic love.
How to Make Your Platonic Relationship Work
If you're new to the concept of platonic relationships, you might feel uncertain about how to start and maintain a quality relationship or friendship with the person you like. Platonic friends or platonic love is something that can enrich your life in so many ways, but it's crucial to keep a few recommendations in mind to make it work.
1. Set Boundaries
Whether you're just friends or feel a certain form of platonic love for that person, both platonic and romantic relationships should have healthy boundaries. What is important for you might not work for the other person.
Talk about what you need for a deep emotional connection, and pay closer attention to what your close friend needs as well. Platonic partnerships are based on knowing each other well, so boundaries are a good way to start.
2. Accept Your Feelings
You might feel frustrated that these feelings have appeared, but rather than fighting them, accept what such relationships offer. Instead of feeling the urge to add a romantic or sexual dimension to your platonic friendship, enjoy it for what it is.
Reserve your romantic feelings for romantic partners, and when you notice signs of platonic love in your life, make the most of it by working on strengthening that platonic bond.
3. Avoid Sex Talk and Flirting
Don't forget that a platonic relationship is a non-sexual relationship without any romantic involvement. That is why platonic flirting, romantic attraction, sexual feelings, sexual desire, and any other sign that you are sexually attracted to the other person are not pillars of a platonic partnership.
Just as your healthy friendships are not about sex or romance, your platonic relationships will follow the same logic. If you notice sexual tension between the two of you or become sexually interested in the other person, talk to them and discuss how to best approach it and whether you should remain platonic.
4. Be Transparent
A long-term friendship or relationship can last only if both partners are honest and transparent with each other. Spend time talking about what deeply intimate connection and close friendship mean to you. Be transparent about your needs and goals for new platonic relationships in your life.
In such social and personal relationships, you can only remain close friends if both are aware of how the other person is feeling. With an honest conversation, your platonic bond can only grow stronger.
5. Don't Compare to Your Romantic Partner
You might be challenged to compare your platonic relationship to your previous and current sexual or romantic relationships, but don't do it. Once you start comparing, you stop seeing the positive sides of your relationship. Supportive platonic friendships are the ones that don't have the need to compare their platonic friends or sexual or romantic partners.
If you are aware of what each relationship gives you, you will be able to be a better platonic partner as well. Learning the benefits of each relationship can lead to better mental health as well, as you're not fantasizing about what these relationships can be.
Conclusion
Platonic relationships are a beautiful way of connecting with another person. It is based on emotional intimacy rather than physical affection and romantic sense. Emotional connections are what make us feel good about ourselves, and our platonic partnerships teach us how to identify positive qualities in ourselves and others.
If you're single, don't mistake platonic relationships as an introduction to a romantic partnership. The ancient philosopher Plato explained clearly that platonic relationships don't have a romantic or sexual component, allowing you to dig deeper into the connection that is growing between you. Don't forget, a healthy friendship is one that knows it's enough and doesn't pretend to be anything else!
Frequently Asked Questions
Are Platonic Relationships Healthy?
Platonic relationships are beneficial for individuals in more ways than one. They allow you to truly connect with another human being on an emotional level. Platonic partners can understand you and talk to you about things you wouldn't discuss with others, such as any traumatic or stressful event that happened to you. As long as you both are honest with each other and have clear intentions for your platonic relationships, it is healthy and positive for you and everyone else around you.
Is a Platonic Relationship Considered Dating?
Dating and platonic relationships have very few things in common. Dating aims to learn more about the other person to decide whether or not they are compatible with you, which can lead to a romantic relationship. A platonic relationship, on the other hand, is not focused on developing that physical attraction and romantic connection to be able to start a relationship but on feeling emotionally intimate with each other. Your platonic partner will be a combination of a good friend and a soul mate but without sex and romance involved.
Is Kissing a Platonic Relationship?
There are many ways to kiss a person. If you want to kiss your platonic friends on the cheek as a way to greet them, that's completely fine. However, if that kissing is an expression of a sexual or romantic interest, this will complicate things in your platonic relationship. Another way of allowing kissing in a platonic relationship is emotional support. You can hug and kiss your platonic partner on the cheek or forehead when they need such emotional support.
Can Platonic Friends Cuddle?
Any form of romantic or sexual feelings should not exist in platonic friends. That is why cuddling is definitely not recommended for your platonic friendship. If there is a need to cuddle, then you two probably can't be just friends on a platonic level. Cuddles can lead to romantic or sexual feelings, which is the opposite of what you want for your platonic friendship.